Text Sushi by Alf Rehn

Finally, important science

As always, the New York Times finds the really important research, such as The Perfect Bacon Sandwich Decoded. Some might see this as flippant, or a waste of tax-payer money (why it is that it’s always research that represents this waste, I cannot say), but I do not agree. Any research that can create more happiness in the world should not only be lauded but financed, and sometimes happiness is a bacon buttie.

Ideally, Danish Bacon said, 0.4 newtons should be applied to crunch the sandwich, creating 0.5 decibels of noise. The formula uses these values: N = force in newtons; fb is the function of the bacon type; fc is the function of the condiment or filling effect; Ts is the serving temperature; tc is cooking time; ta is the time taken to insert the condiment or filling; cm is the cooking method and C represents the breaking strain in newtons of uncooked bacon.

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